How My Chemical Romance's Black Parade Era Almost Lost Me as a Fan (And Conventional Weapons Brought Me Back)
There was a time I realized I was marching to someone else’s drumbeat, and I distanced myself from My Chemical Romance while they marched on. Twenty-three years and 75 shows later, however, they hold an even deeper place in my black little heart.
Frank Iero of My Chemical Romance | Chase Field | Phoenix, AZ | 9.6.26 | Shot by: MADStarlet
The Black Parade Era
For a long time, I felt fifty-some odd My Chemical Romance shows would ever be all it was. You see, after the release of The Black Parade, I found myself a little “Disenchanted,” shall we say… They were clearly moving in a particular direction as a band, and I as a twenty-something, was still trying to figure out the fucking map to see which direction I should go.
During that time, I was friends with someone who was a very big influence on me. She was like a big sister, a big sister I never had, or at least the one I wanted because I wasn’t speaking to mine at the time. She had a history with the band (now looking back, the extent of which I’m not truly sure of anymore since white lies were kind of her thing. Oh, big, fat lies too), as did I, and somehow she turned it into a competition. Then when that didn’t work to her advantage, she just straight up started shit-talking them, which influenced my view of them in a way I am ashamed to admit I fell for. Her end goal? I still don’t know. What is ever the end goal of a narcissist?
Did I like The Black Parade as an album? Front to back, no. Welcome to the Black Parade, Teenagers, Cancer, and I Don’t Love You were absolutely not my jam then and just didn’t feel “My Chem” to me. The first note of Welcome to the Black Parade made me physically cringe; it just sounded cheesy somehow. Not of the same band that had a demo like Bury Me in Black or carried themselves the way they did during the days of Warped Tour.
Did I mention I was twenty-four when the album came out? And did I mention at these shows there were suddenly literal teenagers crying for Gerard to take his shirt off and for Frank to spit on them? Oh. Yeah, there was that too. The fanbase was changing. I was surrounded by far more female fans than male or otherwise, not to say it as a dig, but it just inherently changed the experience in the pit for me.
The Beginning of Barricade or Bust
My first show at the Avalon in 2003 when they opened for Story of the Year, I was rammed so hard against that barricade that I was nearly folded in half more times than I can remember, and I loved it. People going apeshit, moshing, making epic circle pits that inevitably the front row always felt the pressure of. I love that kind of energy. That is what, to me, makes for a good show for the band and for the crowd. People just rocking the fuck out, slamming into each other and throwing devil horns.
The Avalon on Hollywood and Vine, Hollywood CA
The thing was, no one took any of that personally. From the minute the opening band came on, you were smashed up against the barricade and packed in like sardines. The only respite was the ebb and flow of the show and maybe a slow song or two, cause no one can really go that hard for three hours (well, unless maybe they were hopped up on something), but that was the fun of it! Getting all your energy out in a healthy, respectful manner, while having the time of your life and supporting a band you loved dearly. THAT is the gist of why people were showing up to My Chem shows; they were rowdy as fuck, called out the bullshit going on in the world, made sure we picked each other up if someone fell, and then got right back to the mayhem.
Pure, unbridled chaos. My favorite.
Losing Myself in a Toxic Friendship
But times had changed, and so had the band. Some could say for the better, some for the worse, some didn’t care, and some people took it personally.
As the band’s fame rose, so did the ire in my friend, while her access to the band declined, which she didn’t like one bit. So much so (and this is where those big fat lies come into play), she admitted to me she would tell people she and Gerard were dating to have “perceived” access to the band. ?! Okay, now we have entered into parasocial psycho behavior. Knowing it was all BS, I placated her, agreed they were suddenly “not cool,” and that we should definitely find another band to take their place, cause I definitely couldn’t like them if she didn’t cause… that’s how friendship works? Her opinion of their music, them as people, the music scene, the… everything suddenly became my opinion because I needed her to still be my friend. I turned myself inside out trying to be someone she thought was cool. So I “stopped” liking the band.
Or so she thought.
Like I said, I did enjoy the majority of The Black Parade album, but not only were they heading in a musically different direction; their live show was, too, and with that so was their fanbase, and this new fanbase was not one I was into. It was tough to go from being around people talking about that sick riff Frank just pulled off to people yelling for Frank and Gerard to make out, all the time. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone! Since when was this what people went to shows for? Look, Frank and Gerard, Ray, Mikey… they can do whatever they want, take a stance on issues however they see fit, but when it gets taken out of context and, well, sexualized to the nth degree, I’m out.
Could everyone in that band be considered attractive by someone? I don’t doubt it. But if you want to go somewhere and stare at attractive men and yell obscene things at them, there are places for that and people who are actually into it, but your local Troubadour isn’t one of them.
While it may feel like I have veered off topic, and maybe onto a rant a bit (which I suppose I kinda did), that’s where my head was at when Danger Days came out, and it was a hard pass for me. I was people-pleasing my friend until I was nearly unrecognizable as myself, but I genuinely didn’t care for the sound or direction of that album, so they started to drop off my radar in a big way.
Until…
An Unconventional Way Back
CUT TO: November 2020. I’ve moved to California, I’m cooking Thanksgiving dinner (for one), and have iTunes on shuffle. Suddenly, a collection of notes strung together starts to play that feels familiar, then that voice… That voice sounds like… That’s Gerard Way, what the fuck is this song? This is how I discovered Conventional Weapons, and when I tell you that album had a death grip on me, I’m not kidding. I immediately played it from top to bottom on repeat (as one would do if they had the CD), and I was astonished at how much I felt like I recognized “my” band. (No, no one owns them; it’s just a colloquialism, calm down.) That sound I fell in love with on Bullets and Revenge, and that was sprinkled throughout The Black Parade, was still in them.
Obviously, at this point in my life too, I understood a lot more about the way the world works, specifically the music industry and how there was so much behind the scenes that the fans never knew about, still don’t know about, and never will, that influenced the course of their stardom to rise and then crash in epic fashion, only to rise to higher heights than ever before.
Foundations of Decay was released, and I was skeptical, but when I listened to it, I felt reassured. This was my band. This is my band. They were so back.
And so was I. I had forgiven myself for folding myself into a pretzel to maintain what I thought was a friendship, because I recognized why I did it. I was longing for human connection, and I thought my friend at the time was providing me with what I needed. Turns out, it was probably the opposite of what I needed because it never felt like a genuine friendship. But I was in a place where I could finally recognize that, be honest about it, and be honest about the fact that I’d never stopped loving this band; I just stopped loving everything and everyone surrounding the band.
75 Shows Later
Now it was time to make some new memories with them and to make decisions for myself. No fucks were going to be given when it came to the kind of music I liked, the clothes I wanted to wear, what I wanted to do with my life, what I value, what makes me happy, who to give my time to, where I wanted to live, how I wanted to live, and the person I wanted to be, and most of all, admit that I DO like The Black Parade, especially live. This tour has made me fall in love with this album. Which is so like My Chem. Their live show can make you love any song they SING live (yes, even that one).
L>R: Sean Michael Conway, Gemma Scoble, Charlotte Kelso, Tucker Rule, and Charlie Saxton as part of the “The Black Parade Tour 2026” in Phoenix, AZ. 📸: MADstarlet
The new me liked what I liked, wanted what I wanted, and that was that.
And to that I say, Long Live the Black Parade. Having seen them seventy-five times now, I can confidently say I love the fuck out of those dudes and always will. As a fan and a friend, I could not be more proud of what they have accomplished, regardless of the War Beneath the Rain*.
(*play on words guys; I love that song too, duh!)
