mad-Life: Crisis

Still reeling from the loss of my father, the family upheaval, health concerns (that turned out to be grief manifested, but that severe depression and anxiety had been there for quite some time), the “election” of a fascist, narcissistic, deeply misogynistic psychopath, being laid off was the cherry on top of an otherwise disgusting sundae.

No, really. It gave me the freedom to do something I’d kinda done before, but knew I wanted to do again, and again, and again. Follow a band on tour. But not just any band, this band was L.S. Dunes and their live show was doing for me what My Chemical Romance did for me in 2003 - made me feel ALIVE. Coincidence Frank Iero happens to be in both bands? Nah, he just happens to be a very talented musician in two bands with other very talented musicians. The first time I followed a band on tour, I wrote in a notebook a few times about the shows, took a point-and-shoot to the last show, but didn’t actually document in any meaningful way. It all just mostly lives in my head, completely rent-free, mind you.

So this time was gonna be different. Photos and videos galore. But something happened after that tour. I wanted, no… I needed more. So I went to concert after concert and filled up my year with over 75 shows. If I were to imagine what my “mid-life-crisis” would look like at say age, 20, you bet your ass this was exactly that. A self-identity crisis, a mental crisis, a creative crisis, a crisis of fear, sadness and grief. Grief for the life I thought I’d be living by then, grief for the life I now knew I would never have, grief for a future whose once bright light was being dimmed day after day. This film is an examination of those crises and asks the question, did I ever get to the other side?